Then last June, my youngest brother and his family moved out of the house, followed by my second brother and his family. They still live in the same subdivision and we can see them everyday but that’s basically it. They moved out. My eldest brother goes home to his fiancee for the longest time already and just spends a few hours of either a Saturday or a Sunday with us. My third brother has been away for as long as I can remember, with his family working away in Japan. So it was just the 3 of us. Pops, Moms and myself. `twas ok, you know. We carry on.

Now another change is looming in the horizon and until now, I refused to think much thought about it because I just might start being emotional and stuff. My mama will be leaving for Japan very soon. She’ll be there a minimum of three months to a maximum of six. She’ll visit her grandson and will also be in effect be helping my sister-in-law get a job so they can save enough money and go back home for a vacation in December.

Which leaves my Papa and I alone. I mean, she’ll be missed needless to say. And now that I think about it, she really is the glue that binds our family together. We will always have each other but without her loud and powerful voice, how can we cope? She always makes sure that we know she has had enough of our antics, enough of our childishness but after a while, she’s the same. The same loving mother to all of us, wife to our father and the caring Lola to all her grandchildren.

In my mind, I have a lot of selfish things I want to voice out. But I don’t. Because they are precisely that, selfish. She deserves this time to be able to travel abroad and be with the Minlay Family #3. She deserves to be able to experience flying an international flight and see sakuras for the first time in her life. She deserves to see her son too who has been away from her for a long time. She deserves this. I know.

So me and Fudra just need to cope. Come up with an action plan perhaps. Then I think, if it is hard for me, then how is it for him? I could not imagine, I may start crying. They’ve had 28yrs behind them and subtracting the years when our dad had to work abroad, they had been inseparable. We’ll cope. Somehow we will.

I’m just sad you know. But this will be my situation when I work abroad myself. I’ll be away from them for about 2-3yrs. I think it’s good we can try it, but it doesn’t mean my heart will break any less.

Hay…

Marami na akong kaibigang batchmates o malapit ang edad na nauna ng nag-asawa. Karamihan merong isa o dalawang anak. Ang iba naman nag-asawa lang, wala pang anak. May iba din na nag-asawa kasi magkakaanak na. Ke mahal nila ang isa’t isa o hindi, mga nagsiasawa na ang mga nilalang na ito. Ako nama’y hindi nagmamadali. Wala pa akong kabalak-balak mag-asawa. Ako’y napaisip lang kasi sandamakmak na imbitasyon sa mga kasalan ang natatanggap ko at nakapagbalik-tanaw tuloy ako sa aking kabataan. Paano ko ba gusto magpakasal? Anong eksena? Hmmmmm…

1. Sa simbahan ng Unibersidad ng Pilipinas sa Diliman, lungsod ng Quezon. Malaking parte ng buhay ko ang simbahang ito. Kelangan maikot ko ang kabuuan nito na naka-traje.

2. Sa Disyembre, araw ng kabilugan ng buwan. Para masaya dahil magPaPasko at maraming pera mga tao. Bwahahahaha

3. "Your gift appliances are good but we need cash." Motto ng kasal ko ito, nakalagay din ang ganitong paalala sa mismong imbitasyon. Ayaw ko kasing makatanggap ng anim na pirasong takure, 5 plantsa at 12 set ng plato, platito, baso, kutsara at tinidor.

4. Ang traje de boda ko ay puting-puti. Hindi beige, off-white o mother-of-pearl. Ang "motif" ng okasyon ay royal blue na shining, shimmering, splendid.

5. Ang mga imbitado ay iyong mga taong malapit lamang sa aming puso ng aking magiging esposo. (hindi ito Town Fiesta)

6. Bawal ang mga adik na "photo-video coverage crew" na nasa altar at lalo na ang mga nagdidikta kung paano ako ngingiti sa camera habang shino-showcase ko ang iba’t ibang gamit na pangkasal namin.

7. Walang kamag-anak na magluluto o mag-aasikaso na parang berdey party ang dating. Dapat lahat ng mga mahal namin sa buhay ay mga nakagayak na ayon sa mahalagang okasyong ito ng aming buhay.

8. Personalized din dapat ang kanta sa misa.

9. Ang "vow" na ipapahayag namin ay galing sa aming mga puso hindi scripted. (pero ok lang may kodigo)

10. Photo-op kung photo-op. Wag masyado stiff kahit medyo organized lang.

11. May videoke sa reception. (ano pa nga ba? hahaha)

12. Sa reception na magsasalita ang mga parental units, best man(men) at maid(s) of honor.

Ayan palang naman ang mga "required" sa kasal ko. Isang beses lang ako magpapakasal kaya i-oorganize kong maige. At bibigyan katuparan ko na ang aking pangarap simula nung mapanuod ko si Gelli de Belen at Jomari Yllana. Pagkatapos ng kasal lipad na sa Camiguin para magrelak kasama ang aking magiging esposo.

Ayan, lista lang. Matagal pa bago magamit ini. Hindi ko pa makita ang sarili ko na may asawa. Not yet, not in the near future. Madami pa ako gusto gawin sa buhay ko. Marami pang gustong puntahan. Pag nagpamilya na kasi, natural iba na ang priorities kaya ayos pa ang single status. Masaya pa ang life.

end_of_sharing

December 2007.
Ilocos Norte. Planado na lahat, transpo, accomodation, itenerary…hindi natuloy.
May bagyo.

Isa pang hirit para December 2007.
Pangasinan. Bolinao. Nagpaplano pa lang naman…hindi natuloy. Lumindol.

February 2008.
Negros Oriental. Dumaguete City. May plane ticket na (hindi roundtrip kasi punta kami pa ng Bacolod at Cebu kung kayanin). Itenerary? Check!

Sana lang walang bagyo. Sana lang hindi lumindol. Pagkatapos ng anim na taon, magkasama kami ulit  maglalakbay ng Soulsister ko sa Visayas…wag masyado ma-excite. Pwera-usog.

Pero may motto na kami eh. MUAN-HA NAMI DUMAGUETE!!!

Nyahahahahaha…

AMPOTAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

AAAAARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Ang sama ng loob ko…waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

click the link to see for yourself? sniff…sniff…

Sa Araneta pa…bakit ganyan??? wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

We welcome you with confetti…

SOPHIA YSABELLE SALDAÑA MINLAY!!!!

God is good. Amen? Amen!

Naisip mo na ba kung bakit magkabagay ang puto at dinuguan? Suman at asukal? Manggang hilaw at bagoong? Wala lang. Kasi…

Terno. Magkapareha. Swak.

Maraming nagtatanong kung bakit ako mukhang ketchup. Ung banana ketchup ha (preferably UFC Tamis Anghang). Kelangan may ketchup sa prito. Pritong manok, baboy, baka, isda, itlog (ung puti lang kasi di ako kumakain ng yolk), hotdog, corned beef, tocino (ayaw ko ng longganisa) at baloney. Kelangan may ketchup sa adobo, menudo, beef at pork steak o inihaw. Sabi nila kakaiba. Ang hindi nila alam, sa bahay namin, lahat adik sa ketchup. Ang mga magulang namin, naimpluwensyahan na pero kaming limang magkakapatid- ADIK talaga. Dati ang bili ng mama ko ng ketchup ung regular na bote, eh ang nangyayari, sa isang kainan, ubos na agad. Ngayon move on na. Ung 2L na orange bottle na tumatagal ng isang linggo na. Happiness ang ketchup. Pag walang ketchup—iba ang lasa ng food—kulang. Malungkot. Badtrip. Anyway, moving on…

Terno. Magkapareha. Swak.

Ung magkaparehas na hikaw. Ung ternong bedsheet at punda. Ung champorado at tuyo. Ung Yakisoba at Magic Flakes sa dorm. Ung lahat ng pagkain at ketchup. Ung mga silog menu. Ung suka at chicharon. Ung beer at sisig. Ung Mr. & Ms. JS Prom. Ung muse at escort. Magkakapakner.

Ganyan din sa life. Naniniwala akong may katerno ka. Paano mo malalaman? Basta. Malalaman mo na lang. Gaya ng alam mo na hindi magkapares ang tsinelas na suot mo. Hindi kasi…

Terno. Magkapareha. Swak.

Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it’s all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it’s all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes…
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes…
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes…
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes…
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes…

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it’s all right
It’s all right

Here Comes the Sun (Lennon/McCartney)

The Beatles

What then is normal? What then is right? 

I read somewhere that “normality is merely a matter of consensus; that is, a lot of people think something is right, and so that thing becomes right.”** True. So does trying to be different essentially wrong as you can obliterate society’s equilibrium or can it make you mentally dysfunctional for the reason that “as you force yourself to be the same as everyone else, it can cause neuroses, psychoses and paranoia?”** An alteration of nature? A distortion of how we should be or is it just the real us trying to escape from what custom have limited us to be?

Sanity. Psychoses. Society. Changes. I guess I really am a chronic overthinker. So what happens then to an overthinker who has nothing to do and no one to talk to about everything and nothing? Lunacy. But what if the social order defines lunacy differently from me? Would that make me a psychotic? Or would that make the public a big neurotic mess? I say it would depend on which perspective you’re looking at. It actually is the point of this entire argument.

Sanity. Madness. Raison d’être. Mental illness. Someone told me a long time ago that I had kept him sane. I understood him because I felt the same. You know why? Because “…insanity is the inability to communicate your ideas. It is as if you were in a foreign country, able to see and understand everything that’s going on around you but incapable of explaining what you need to know or of being helped, because you don’t understand the language they speak there.”***

Enough said.

**(Dr. Igor in Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho

***( Zedka Mendel in Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho)